Sleeping at the wheel

How about them hurricanes? Before I rant and rave about something insignificant again, let me say this. It's probably not a good idea to name your team after natural disasters. It doesn't take into account alot of variables, including an actual natural disaster occuring. Take the carolina hurricanes of the now-defunct NHL.... oh, wait, they're not defunct, they just suck. Anyways, how can you expect a bunch of fans to cheer a team called the hurricanes? especially after what happened. By the same token, why would you name your team the devils? Although.... the devil sure has got some balls, so maybe it wouldnt be a bad idea after all. Anyways, stick to stupid birds and animals for your mascot, and if that's not good enough, you can always use a native american mascot; they won't mind, cause they're all dead! oh yeah!! Npw that's what I call an unintentional genocide. "Ooops, my bad" say the americans on thanksgiving. But, I digress. On with the show.

So, usually hurricanes come and go. Some people die, but then again, some people die regardless, so that's no biggie. A lot of property is damaged, but then again, most have insurance. So, except for the damage and the minimal loss of life, hurricanes ain't shit. That is, until two weeks ago, when hurricane katrina was so impressed with its work in florida, she did an encore in the gulf. Man, that was something to see. The three states affected were totally ruined. Now, this happened at the end of august, beginning of september. This is an odd time of the year, especially in the past four years, for something like this, and you know, a freaking terrorist attack to happen, so you'd think the people in power would take vacations on like a non-busy season. Anyways, as usual, the DC cronies were up to the same old song and dance. VACATION TIME BIATCH!

Now, I am not of the school of thought that believes the president is responsible for everything that goes wrong, although stating the current situation for many of the people affected in the area is better than it was before is not the best way to approach it. I think this hurricane was pretty severe, and what happened could not have been prevented. Also, governors bitching about not wanting to federalize the aid effort did not help, nor did having an asinine and incompetent FEMA head. So, no, I don't think it's Bush's fault this all happened, but he hasn't made the situation better. This is the second time in the last four years that the president was on vacation while something bad happened in the country. Talk about bad luck. What's really bad about it, though, is his reactions. It's not very convincing. He kind of reminds me of those athletes that don't perform well under pressure; you know, those that aren't very clutch in the end? Forget "anti-christ", Bush is the anti-clutch. When shit hits the fan, it hits him too. He can't seem to figure out how to resolve things, unless it involves taking the "offensive" You can't really take on the hurricane. You couldn't declare war on the waters. I mean, they are some breaching mo-fo's; they don't seem to be content with comrising 75% of the earth. Them sons of bitches. You know what? forget all that, I think the Bush team should start selling a war on the waters. It will be unprecedented. And if successful, Bush would be on a liberation wave the likes we've never seen before.

Alright, the best way to sell it is to draw some similarites to groups already hated, and by that I mean our good ole Al-qaeda folks. We should call the hurricanes "al-ma'a" which means simply, the water. This is a genius tact, because it's in arabic, and anything arabic looks evil. Next, try to make them seem a clear and present danger. Run 30 second spots on tv on how they reaked havoc on innocent and law-abiding citizens, and could do so again.... unless we take the war to them. We'll finally be on that war footing we've always wanted to be. And in case you think im being ridiculous, just remember..... dumber things have happened.